Good vacation ,back to reality !!

Having had a great break of one and half months in India allowing me enough time to recharge my battery and spend time with family . I am not back to Croydon searching to find a new meaning for life and a new chapter for myself

I am determined that I would try and make my life as positive as I possibly can and not regret or look back at any decisions made .

I am keen to ensure I spend quality time with my son and not show my frustrations on him and to try and make this childhood as pleasant an experience as possible

He is turning 4 in a few days time and boy oh boy time has surely flown by me . Sitting in a headmasters meeting at his new school due to start in September certainly made me tearful and anxious at the thought that my little baby is all grown up now and he is now growing into a responsible adult , soon ready to make his own decisions and choices. I am not sure if I am truly ready for this and I am not sure if I ever will be, even if he is 60 he will always be my baby.

I have during the past few years taken a back seat in terms of my identity and who I really am . I struggle to understand what I am and what I need for myself even today and I feel if you would have asked a younger Soumya 10 years ago , my plan for my life would certainly have been very different

Dont get me wrong but my life is blessed and I am indeed very happy at the place I am , but I tink hat I miss is me !!

I am determined to work on this and try and find the real me and make her happy , because its only then that truly us as a family can ever really be HAPPILY EVER AFTER !!