07.03.2016 - March Monday- Friends to be grateful for

Here we go again

Weekends fly like it never happened , before the blink of an eye , the weekend is over

As usual Anish had a business trip to Cardiff and I am so fortunate to have good friends around who are willing to take care of my son early  in the morning and take him to school. Hence life has moved as normal.

More or else a very mundane day at work , getting back to things always takes some time and today was more or less a very unproductive day work wise.

I am keen to get back on track from tomorrow and hopefully by the end of the week work wise, must focus on being more productive.

Working on getting more positive in life , its very hard to let go and but adamant to get it right.

I am learning to swim today for the 2nd day , as of now I am horrible at it , I am hoping things get better , only 8 more classes to go.

Being lost

In life to be truly and rest and happy with life , you need to feel a sense of belonging and have a purpose for life. Everyone has a vague sense of purpose like for me, my purpose now in life to ensure my family , my son and my husband's have a comfortable and happy life. But that is clearly where my purpose in life is wrong. This is not my purpose .

In the mad run to grow up , over the years of several changes, somewhere down the lane , I lost myself . Ever so often , especially here I have written this down and acknowledged that as well. But even today, I struggle to get a grab on my life and find a purpose. Why am I here ? what should I do? What makes me happy ?

Everyday I think over these questions over and over again and the more I ponder the more lost I get.

If you look at truly happy, NOT Successful, NOT Rich , but truly happy people. They are happy because they truly believe that they are in this world to do what they are doing today. Even if that means simple things like taking care of the house and family or being in a career. They believe what they are doing is what they need to do.

I am on a journey for the last several years to understand that calling for me. As for now, some days I want to be a successful business women and some days all I want to be is a housewife.

But I truly am not sure what makes me happy in life . why do I do what I do each day everyday.

What you wear is who you are

I read in an article today that if everything else were the same , the  decision to chose one individual over the other would be made based on their appearance and what they wear. Working in the recruitment industry I deal with people a lot and perceptions are made about people in a fraction of a second based on several criteria's like what  you wear , how you speak and who you hang out with.

It seems extremely unfair , but unfortunately in a world wear decisions are made first by the eyes, it seems the rule of the game. No wonder increasingly more number of people have issues with the self confidence and body image. No wonder people who don't fit into this frame that society forces upon people are always left feeling insignificant.

I do believe being healthy is extremely important and I do believe self confidence is also important, but I don't think they way you look should have anything to do with how good you are in your work.

Good vacation ,back to reality !!

Having had a great break of one and half months in India allowing me enough time to recharge my battery and spend time with family . I am not back to Croydon searching to find a new meaning for life and a new chapter for myself

I am determined that I would try and make my life as positive as I possibly can and not regret or look back at any decisions made .

I am keen to ensure I spend quality time with my son and not show my frustrations on him and to try and make this childhood as pleasant an experience as possible

He is turning 4 in a few days time and boy oh boy time has surely flown by me . Sitting in a headmasters meeting at his new school due to start in September certainly made me tearful and anxious at the thought that my little baby is all grown up now and he is now growing into a responsible adult , soon ready to make his own decisions and choices. I am not sure if I am truly ready for this and I am not sure if I ever will be, even if he is 60 he will always be my baby.

I have during the past few years taken a back seat in terms of my identity and who I really am . I struggle to understand what I am and what I need for myself even today and I feel if you would have asked a younger Soumya 10 years ago , my plan for my life would certainly have been very different

Dont get me wrong but my life is blessed and I am indeed very happy at the place I am , but I tink hat I miss is me !!

I am determined to work on this and try and find the real me and make her happy , because its only then that truly us as a family can ever really be HAPPILY EVER AFTER !!

Weekend fun! Plan accomplished this week

A good weekend after a long time

Like I mentioned earlier this year has been filled with stress of health issues , work tensions and personnel issues and hence being rather stressful .But despite this I am looking forward to April with a determination to work through the stress and remind me of the old self I lost somewhere in the process

This weekend was a beginning to the same , we had a very busy but fun filled weekend . I manage to accomplish a lot of things this weekend and I start the week on a very positive note,

A little more about the weekend, for starters we decided unlike other weekends , we would rise early and start our day early thanks also to my horrendous alarm .

This felt me with a lot of time to accomplish the little but very important works of cleaning , washing , folding , tidying , vacuuming well out of the way early on . Also helped me to manage to finish cooking breakfast and lunch all within the first half of the day .

This left us with all jobs done and lunch finished by  2 o clock which made us decide to head to the Brighton beach and take advantage of the summer . Reluctant as ever to step out of the house , I said no but later reminded of my plan to make things better , I forced myself out of the house and we ended up spending some great quality family time out in the beach , enjoying the lovely calm beach and sunset and beach food .

to top it up on Sunday we went for a Malayalam movie starring Nivin and has a entertaining time , with my son peacefully sleeping through it. How delightful

We also met a few friends and chatted away over a cup of my horrible coffee and hit the bed early for a good night sleep

Thanks for a wonderful weekend , here is to many many more

Life in April 2015

Being happy , Happy Easter

I had a rather eventful week in April and I am very happy wit the progress so far .

After much contemplation I have decided to quit my current role and take a break . This has been an extremely tough decision for me as ever since my maternity break I had struggled to find a job in UK and this role came to me like Gods blessing at that time But today I feel like I have given it every inch I have and I have also taken from it every inch I could , so now its time to move on for the better . I am still quite unsure of what I want at this moment but I think I am happy to have made a choice and I am sure life will throw new challenges at me next ..

We are in the process of some major decisions in our life right now and though these have been very exciting , it has also been extremely stressful on us as a family , but last week has provided me with a lot of clarity.

I am grateful to have a small but beautiful house for ourselves in UK , I am also extremely excited to have planned my trip to India  I a going for a good 7 weeks and I am determined to make it count !

I need to plan to ensure I spend some quality time with my family and Anish's

I have been very stressed this last year and this has had a drastic impact on my patience and my well being , several factors add to this my family life , work stress of managing a house and I feel like I wear my emotions on my sleeve and this has changed the person I am .

I am very keen to change this and ensure I make myself a better person with each passing day . I am trying to learn the art of controlling my emotions and not letting the negativity around me affect the inner self , much easier said that than done.

This is an honest attempt towards the same ,as if I document it I cant shy away from it. So trying to keep my negative talks to minimum and also trying to screen out as my negativity as possible from my mind

Life has been busy and stressful and I have now made the resolution to distress and slow down !!

I feel blessed to be born in this generation , however I feel like this generation is so much fast paced and not at all connected that you tend to me lonely stressful all the time

Life is UK has been a very interesting journey and three years down the lane and I feel like I can clearly say that it has had its ups and downs

While I totally enjoy Cosmopolitan culture I am still cocooned and still not freely mingling with people .